Admission

Every Sunday I feel sick with nerves because I’m terrified of starting another week

Constantine visits LFCC part 1

In case anyone things I’m castiel,  been meaning to change that to petty dabbler…

In case anyone things I’m castiel, been meaning to change that to petty dabbler…

The depression kicks in
When cigarettes loose their joy

Aside from a pack of silk cuts,  John Constantine is ready for LFCC

Aside from a pack of silk cuts, John Constantine is ready for LFCC

Honest threesome

If I’m honest
I should be sleeping right now
But I’m having a threesome
With depression and rage
Depression whispers sweet doubt into my ears about the day to come
While rage grabs me by the balls and pounds my head with murderous thoughts for the party next door who won’t shut the Fuck up

Body

I pound my body with my mind
Every inch of fat
Every untoned cell
Every minute particle
I beat bloody with hate
You are never enough
You sicken me
And every time I share you
You make me feel the leppar in my own mirror
I hate you with all the boiled fury in my blood
I will mould you into something more satisfying
Or I will die trying

Can’t sleep so taking semi naked selfies

Can’t sleep so taking semi naked selfies

Un right now

My body grows sick from nerves
Doubt and worry rots me from the inside out
I cry silently into the night
The world is wrong
I am alone
Wrong footed and ill
My world has lost all sense
It is blanketed
Submerged in blackness
The depression sets in
And turns my metaphors cliché

My new and improved John Constantine. Ready for WLFCC next weekend

Wake, live, repeat

I picture the morning just gone
Every day it seems as if a mountain has been climbed in the hours of distance
As if each day is a life led
And my nights I am born again
Only to die upon sleeping

For those wondering, this is what teachers look like

For those wondering, this is what teachers look like

Bone to muscle

Fuck off sleep
Let me wallow in loneliness for a while
Let me bask in the cold heat of my own sweat
As I exhale the day before another begins
Depression over dramatises your life
It makes mountains out of minutes
Turns interaction into interrogation
But the loneliness
Turns bone to muscle
The dead into warriors
And reliance into your own life
So Fuck off sleep
Let me regain my strength

Nature’s selfie

Last night I woke up in a lightning storm
To see the light of day in an explosive moment
It was a snapshot in the night
Like nature’s selfie
Or these foolish words
Only a moment of truth
Then it’s washed away in the rain

I think

Thinking can be a paradox
Think too much
And you’ll never think again